Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Internet Vs Dementia?

     According to a new study done by UCLA, pointlessly surfing the internet for hours on end may actually have a positive effect other than increasing our already impressive collection of failblog videos. According to the study, spending time surfing the internet actually has a hand in fighting off dementia.

    The study was conducted on older people (im assuming because the study was originally intended to see how long it took old people to realize that the illuminated devil box sitting before them wasn’t just a poltergeist waiting to suck in the souls of today’s youth). The key factor in this was rapid exposure to new information. If you’ve ever typed in anything in Google at least 768409338949058 pages come up with results with the exact information you need multiplied by an infinity of information you don’t.

The result?

     It gives your brain insane superhuman power strong enough to fight off the illness that makes grandpa forget to wear pants when he power walks around the shopping mall with his imaginary civil war buddy singing the tooth paste radio-jingles from the 40’s.

    What about the rest of us? Well apparently old folks aren’t the only ones benefiting from the condensation of civilization because “wasting” time on the internet actually benefits everyone. The rapid exposure to new information stimulates the brain and increases neuron activity. So by finding unexpected information that you encounter on various sites, your brain is constantly reacting to the overload of new information and keeps it in shape, saving it from becoming dilapidated vegetable mush (the opposite effect of anything on VH1).

    So thank you UCLA for giving all of us an excuse to ignore our jobs, loved ones, …hygiene. And continue to spend our precious waking moments finding out just how many different angles there are to Kim Kardashians butt.

The Beginning of the End

Welcome to the end of the world...or at lease what is soon to be the end. My name is Jiggs and from this moment on I will be your guide to the absurd, ridiculous, hilarious, and the insanity that surrounds us.

This is Jiggs Vs World.....who's side will you choose?